The slogan or tag line for Petal candles, for me its more than that, I hope this will inspire others. to know your value, bet on yourself make adjustments and most importantly own your sh*t!
The most important relationship you will have in life is with yourself, it will be fiery, passionate and best of all will last a lifetime. It is important that you nurture this relationship good or bad, this is your life. It wont last for ever so don't waste time trying to change the past, use the hand you have been dealt and play hard.
Self love is not about vanity it has nothing to do with how you dress or appear to others, Self love is a deep connection with yourself and will determine your life choices. Self love is a measure of not sacrificing for other needs over your own.
'When you follow your bliss a kind of track opens up, That's always been there, waiting for you, and the life that you should be living, is the one that you will be living.'
- JOSEPH CAMPBELL
When we are told to love ourselves, a feeling of selfishness or a vapid existence comes to mind but its the actual opposite. My self love journey has taken me down a new path I am reading books by authors I would never normally read, they write about spirituality, and before you click away check out these beautiful definitions.
'Its not love to be static like the desert, nor is it love to roam the world like the wind,
and it is not love to see everything from a distance, like you do. Love is the force that transforms and improves...'
- Paulo Coelho
'The Moment you feel you are no longer dependent on anyone a deep coolness and a deep silence settles the inside..'
Love, Freedom, Aloneness
The Koan of Relationships.
I realised that we will only ever discover the true meaning of wellness and self love by nurturing a relationship with ourselves, as thoughts determine the outcome of our day based on how we react to situations. Our internal commentary or the ego (mind) is very powerful, the judge and jury of how we see ourselves. We determine our value based on our inner thoughts and in turn teach people how to treat us. If you cannot love yourself, how can anyone else?
As I have gotten older I am learning to make peace with myself, I used to constantly measure my life based on experiences and the people I surrounded myself with. I used to follow all the latest makeup trends and use the latest hair products and perfumes, skin care treatments and would end up unhappy, as they didn't work for me, but somehow I kept ignoring that feeling and the issues they were causing, It resulted in problems with my well being and my health. Something had to change, I couldn't see or find the answer as I was to close to the problem, so I started to listen to podcasts and YouTube videos listening to stories of people who dedicated their lives to selfcare and motivating people to find it for themselves.
I don't own or have the rights to this video so will link below if removed.
Cinderella the underrated hero of Self Love.
I listened to a podcast recently and they described Cinderella story as a more of a spiritual journey. I cannot remember where I heard it BUT will keep looking and post below if i stumble across it again.
Cinderella is a young woman who has suffered many losses in her life she lost her mother, then her father and then eventually her freedom. Cinderella was raised with love, she was aware of enough of her self worth that she didn't let the reality of being trapped and abused affect who she was.
She dreamed of a better life, she showered, brushed her hair and dressed well considering her daily tasks. Most people would be depressed and not bother, she woke every morning and she sang a song of positivity.... Her beauty was a reflection of who she was..
'Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come sliding through, no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, a dream that you wish will come true.' - Disney's Cinderella
A dream is a wish your heart makes Lyrics universal Music publishing group.
No where is there a mention of a someone coming to her rescue, like we have been taught, she dreamed of happiness. Her step mother and step sisters were described as her negative thoughts, They reminded her daily she was a poor little orphan, no one cared for her, she wasn't good enough. The animals where her positive thoughts of love and kindness although they were small, they where enough to make her feel happiness. The story was a constant battle of these thoughts until one day she decides to change her situation.
Once again the bad thoughts creep in and destroy her faith, her step mother and sister try to destroy her dream of being free and she finally lets them win and the fight is to hard. Its only when she reaches rock bottom and starts to lose faith, her fairy god mother or self love really kicks in, the small animals or the positive thoughts are transformed into larger creatures and she is taken to the ball.
She goes to the ball full of Love and self confidence and the prince finds her because she was radiant (sending out, light and glowing). She came home and held onto the memory of her happiness and when her stepmother or negative thoughts tried to take it away again, she puts on the glass slipper and rescues herself.
' Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious... and curiosity keeps leading us down new parts.
Lots of Disney films represent this narrative here are a few of my favourites,
Tangled (Rapunzel), Meet the Robinsons (Lewis), The Princess Frog (Tianna), The incredibles (Violet), Bolt (Bolt and Rhino).
I love Disney, I have been collecting the films for years. Walt Disneys himself has an amazing story he was turned down 302 times before finally realising his dream.
Hearing this my mind was blown wide open, I started to think of self love a lot differently, i realised things we buy or things external to yourself cannot create this state it is only when you use the things, for self improvement and not to measure your worth, that you can use them to create your wellness. I am still learning myself as 50 cent / Curtis Jackson said in his book 'Hustle harder Hustle smarter' as the student, never outshine the master, I will use one of my favourite Les Brown quotes a motivator I listen to encourage and motivate me.
'If its not one thing... then its another. At times, its seems that every turn is the wrong one, and nothing is going your way. This is the time to practice, patience, faith and determination. The job you lost will be replaced by a career or business that you are passionate about. The person who is no longer a part of your life has made room for someone else who will truly love and respect you.
If its not one thing.. the its another. Perseverance, drive and moving forward with a positive mindset will help you survive the storms of life. For now focus on the bright side of life. The sun will shine on you again and you will be stronger for going through the storm. One day you'll look back, appreciate the wisdom you gained and the person you become, because of these experiences. You have GREATNESS within you!'
- Les Brown.
As children we are born full of self love, we are self aware and know how to get our demands met, As we grow the conditioning of our parents, through no fault of there own changes this narrative. When we do something wrong we are naughty, when we learn to walk we are good, if we don't share we are selfish, and when people describe us they say we are look our mother or father, we are slowly trained to believe that the perception of ourselves is based on what other people think or say about us.
Osho says 'A child has a destiny of his own, if he becomes your image, he will never become himself. '
This is not just true of children this is true of adults too, we become consumed with self image. When I say self image I don't mean the reflection in the mirror, I mean the inner perception, a reflection of what we see and surround ourselves with. Treat your wellness as you would a baby, speak kindly to yourself and use your environment to help you develop a new perspective, treat yourself to things that will serve your development and not your ego, read books that feed you, learn about yourself and don't measure your life by anyone else's ruler.
'The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance'.
- Nathaniel Branden.
How I practice Meditation / Reset / Me time / Self love.
I use my Sundays Mornings as a me day. I check in with my priorities for the week , what I want to do less of in my life, what I want more of, how I want to feel, what i'm going to do to achieve it.
Oprah Winfrey calls it spiritual bath, where you light candles and use your favourite products and listen to positivity, No sad songs or blues, relaxing vibes or reading a book to feed your soul all things to help you relax and grow.
Last week I made some Bath bombs scented with divine ingredients that i knew my sensitive eczema prone skin would love and shared some with friends, I now share them with you.
Recipe for Petal Bath Bombs
1 Cup sodium bicarbonate (baking soda)
1/2 cup Citric Acid (little tip blend for ease of use)
1/2 cup arrow root powder (full of beautiful minerals)
1 tbsp Epson or Himalayan salt (blended for ease of use )
1 tbsp Coconut milk powder (optional)
10 drops of essential oils (of your choice)
6 Fruit / Herbal Tea bags (fillings only)
2 tsp Carrier oil of choice, more if needed.
2 tbsp French pink or green clay.
Measuring cups or spoons
Plastic mixing spoon.
blender / coffee grinder
Whisk (metal preferably)
Metal bath bomb moulds / or silicone ice tray
Tea towel or something soft for them to dry.
You can also use this recipe as a fizzy bath soak if you don't want to make bombs
Start by blending out your citric acid and salts, I find it easier to work with everything in powdered form.
Measure out all your dry ingredients in a bowl. Mix thoroughly until all the ingredients evenly blended. Add your carrier oil of choice olive oil, almond oil, apricot oil, your choice.
I used my Calendula oil and Rose olive oil infusions I made a few weeks ago. Add your essential oils and mix again the aim is the texture of wet sand.
Once you are happy with the texture grab a handful, and squeeze together if it sets its perfect, if any liquid escapes its too wet you can fix it by adding a sprinkle more of arrow root powder until its dried out or even a extra tsp of clay, if its too dry add another tsp of oil.
Mix together again and ensure all powders are loose and not packing together.
Okay now the fun bit, get your bath bomb moulds and fill each side don't pack the mixture in keep it loose and airy and slightly over flowing. Bring the two sides together until you hear a little pop and squeeeeeeeeeeeeeze.
(if you haven't got moulds use an old ice cube tray pack in as much mixture as possible and press down.)
Once you are satisfied the two halves have moulded tap and slightly twist one side of the mould the other bath bomb should fall into your palm if not. gently tease it out. Remember its like wet sand so place on a cushioned tea towel or table cloth in a cool and dry place. If it crumbles mix and try again. It took me a few attempts to get it right.
leave overnight to dry and they will be perfect. ingredients are fresh to be kept for 6 months.
I thinks self care or self love is a true connection of yourself, it is not about buying new things or treating yourself to a spa day.
Self care is about knowing yourself and constantly improving, finding your balance and setting goals, and overcoming obstacles. If that means going to a spa to help you relax or buying that new thing to help you achieve that goal then do it. Once you reach alignment with yourself you wont feel anchored to anything or anyone to create your happiness, thoughts will be more positive and seek more positivity, it will become infectious and as your cup fills with love it will runeth over and your love will envelope every one else.
Here are some great Youtube videos I watch during my sprititual bath
Marisa Peer world renowned therapist https://youtu.be/m9t1nzp36WE
Les Brown Motivation speaker https://youtu.be/KlUMrzwmbyo
Lisa Nichols Business Owner / Multimillionaire single mother https://youtu.be/tSxhIp4l1DY
Tyler Perry Screen & Playwriter, Studio Owner, producer, director. https://youtu.be/CTPzXwNVc9g
I appreciate you all thank you, leave a comment if this has helped you
Take care of you, and Love yourself.