Updated: Nov 12
Why I laugh and Cry when things go wrong and they do!
This year has been a bit of a nightmare to use the P.G version!! I am not just talking about the pandemic. I have been facing a lot of challenges recently and it has not always been easy to get through but, sometimes life gives you a gentle nudge and will put you back on your path.
In January I brought my first car, it was so amazing I had talked about it for so long and finally the day came for me to get it. Some people call this speaking into existence, I call it sheer determination. The only problem is I still haven’t passed my driving test, but I didn’t care I have my car. I postponed taking lessons for a month, then paid for a enough lessons to get me test ready as I had also booked my driving test
My lesson were constantly cancelled due to illness of the instructor, I was soo annoyed and had to move on as I booked my test and time was running out. I found a new instructor we booked lessons and then the day of our first lesson together lockdown was announced. My test was cancelled my theory expired and I had to retake again. So once again I felt like I was starting again.
11 MONTHS later I am still walking past my car, walking 2.4 miles each way for school runs, paying for taxis everyday to work, back home from school with the kids, the tax on my car is due soon, insurance is paid each month, it has had an MOT in which it has driven a 1000 miles and needs to new tyres and not to mention car finance payments. I was starting to see my car as a burden and not a the thing that was going to make my life easier
I decided to change my focus. I started writing my blog and working harder on my online Etsy business. A few months later my washing machine breaks down again subsequently floods my kitchen at 10 at night. I decided enough was enough I was saving for a new fridge, so oh well I need to get a new washing machine instead. But the fridge is still collecting water and wouldn't you know it the TV wont turn on, The kids break their new laptop... and on and on.. (I could give more examples but who cares right..)
This seems all very blah blah but to be fair, to me this is my main reason for MY anxiety, (or was) the feeling of one thing after another, always replacing stuff never getting anything right something always being cancelled.
I started to focus on this because of the voice that will always tell me negative stories about my life. Recalling EVERY mistake or downfall like a check list on its fingers, I call her Rita, she has big earrings and has plenty of attitude and she is a B***.
Rita say things like do who do you think you are your not special, you can't do better than I said you could, you don’t deserve to have everything you want. I have learnt to tell her to shut up!! This might seem crazy, but I’m sure we all have a Rita. She is the negative voice inside your head that keeps you in fear.
So I decided to clear out the blockages, I mentioned I still haven’t taken my road test its booked now as I passed my theory again, woohoo!! but once a week I was still turning over my car and feeling low because the battery died once and my insurance only cover it if roadside (lol). So I finally moved her away to my parents drive, yes she's a her and her name is Queenie!! MY children named her after a character in a David Walliams book we Love.
The negative thoughts disappeared and I was free to move forward with other pursuits, I felt that had to think of positive because negative thoughts will only bring more negative outcomes. It didn't stop there I needed to clear out my living space clearing out old clothes and items that hold bad memories as a way of clearing energy blockages.
The other day I had the intuition to clear out the items in my house that had a connection to my past life (my marriage) duvets, clothes, shoes, jewellery aka wedding bands everything was bagged up and taken to the dump. I am normally conscious of throwing things away that could help someone else, but transferring the energy was not the intention.
Once the bags toys and clothes were removed there was a massive energy shift. a light feeling like sadness and negative energy had left the home the children are much happier, their behaviour changed overnight and they seemed a little more settled. The house felt like the windows were open and it as just such a light feeling. I cant explain it.
Here is a video about clearing the energy in your home that will explain it better.
I don't own the rights to this video, it may be removed i will leave the title for you to search on Google.
Copy into YouTube - Space clearing: How to clear the energy in the Room.
What negative thoughts are you focusing on? What is causing the blockage in your life, I will not say my life Is all sunshine and rainbows, I have problems like any other person. But what I try no to do is stay there in that mindset. If you need to cry, dance sing, eat chocolate or drink some wine to release the built up feelings of stress and pain then do it.
Bad things happen but don't invite Rita to stay. She is not helpful and she will make you feel worse.
Tell your negative thoughts Bye Felicia out load if that works for you!! Don’t expect anyone else to help you find this feeling either, people can help you stay with the good feeling path, but they should not have to get you there.
You have to find that for yourself. I do this by listening to Church sermons Like Joel Osteen he give really great examples of this on YouTube, Meditation or practicing self-care doing the things that make ME feel good. No one can tell you what that is, if you feel good having a massage do it, gardening, baking a cake or going for a walk in Nature, watching the Real Housewives of America DO IT!!
My favourite feel good is making products. When I make something and its amazing, it gives me a warm feeling and I LOVE sharing it with people. Sometimes it goes wrong, it used to frustrate me no end. Now it makes me laugh.
My latest fail was this African Black Soap with Hawaiian Lava Activated Black salt very expensive (lol)
I hope you find that thing that gives you joy.
As always take care of you and Love yourself